That wasn't a room, that was my life...

As implied in the subject of today's post, I am no longer among the living. It's true. It has taken me a few days to figure out how to post in my now incorpreal state but it wound up being surprisingly easy.

Oh, how did I die you ask? It's the darnedest thing actually. Remember when I told you I had found a room in town and would write more about town after I had gotten some sleep? Well, you don't get more sleep than this. And that room, well, it wasn't actually a room at all. It winds up, someone had left a rather large wood chipper box just sitting there looking all room like. I just thought all those blades were some kind of post modern art. It wasn't until I tried to turn on the light switch, which incidentally was not a light switch, that my delimma was realized. As realization dawned, I found myself suddenly fertalizing a large pile of wood chips on the other side of the "room".

It really was quite painless, you know, compared to getting a 100000 razor cuts while swimming in a pool of 120 proof. That is to say, it hurt like hell, but only briefly. The next thing I knew, I could fly, which is actually kind of sweet, however, I can only fly within about 20 feet of where my splatter landed.

Now, you would think this would be a boring fate, never being able to fly beyond your own remains, but remember, my remains were spread over a pile of wood chips. Wood chips that are even now being carried to gardens unknown in places across the known world. I can already see a lot of places I recognize and many I don't. It seems wherever my splatter is taken, a piece of me (please excuse the redundant phrasing) goes as well. I discovered that I can actually pop in and out of each of these locations at will.

I have never been much of a practical joker, well, not since the whole Joey incident, but in my new state, I am feeling a wee bit froggy. I think I will go out and test my limits now. Barring some unforeseeable incident with a camaflagued Ghost chipper, I should be back later to report on my activities.

In case the unforeseeable incident comes to fruition, just know this...

Oh, I forgot what I was going to say....

Ah well, maybe I'll send more news tomorrow.