Thursday, April 1, 2010

Boo

Did I mention that I am not much of a practical joker?

It would appear that in death, I am just as bad at it as I was in life, though my bad jokingness has further reaches now that I can hop around from wood chipped garden to wood chipped garden.

So, I popped into a garden just outside the desert province of Makinta. I could not feel the heat, but it looked hot, being a desert and all of that. Not sure why they had a garden full of woodchips there, but I figured it was as good a place as any to pull my first prank as a ghost.

Now, what did I know about being a ghost? Well, nothing really. I knew ghosts liked to move things around and scare people, but that was about the extent of it. Since I did not have a guide book, I decided to wing it.

I floated into the house and slowly worked my way around the limits of my 20 foot radius. I had a corner of the bed room, another corner of the great room, and almost an entire bathroom. This was no normal bathroom though. It had an old fashioned toilet with a plunger next to it. I had only seen these a couple of times at a few travelling museums, but it was obvious what it was meant for.

I figured if I put the plunger in the toilet, the owner, when he or she came home, would become paranoid because they surely did not leave a plunger in the toilet before they left for the day. It would have scared me to come home and find something like that had happened. Then when they were really worried about it, I would blow on the back of their neck and really freak them out. How was I to know that they would not be home until nightfall, and that they tended to go to the bathroom without turning on the lights...

I can still hear the scream...

People really shouldn't just plop down like that without looking first. I mean, a fella could get hurt...

You'd think the old man had never used a human waste disposal device before, either. If he had, the plunger handle, though uncomfortable, would not have been near as painful... It was then that I realized, the man had NOT used a human waste disposal before. It had not been invented yet. Somehow, not only had my woodchips been delivered to various locations through space, but they had also made a few drop shipments through time.

By the time I got back to the computer next to the library garden that I am using to post this message, several days had passed. On a whim, I got on the Uninet and looked up the address of the old man. It winds up, he was a scientist, and it was from a mysterious encounter with a plunger that he had designed the first Human Waste Disposal device...

It was all my fault. If I had not played the joke on him, we would probably all still be dropping our kids off at the pool, floating logs to the paper mill, dropping gator... you get where I am going with this...

But what was done is done, I guess. I will be more careful going forward. I mean, I don't want to find out that I was the one who brought about the sand blaster method of circumcision...

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