New thoughts

Well, I am back. Who am I, you ask? Not who you think I am, that much is for sure. After months of psychiatric care, and 30,000 volts of electricity repeatedly applied to the temples, and on at least one occasion to a place which can only be described as a bad idea amidst a storm of bad ideas... I am back.

I am not who I was when I left, so I guess the question really is, Who am I? The answer, at this current place in time is, I really do not know. I mean, before, I was whatever I wanted to be, regardless of the evidence around me or the strange looks I got. If I wanted to be a ghost, I was a ghost. If I wanted a manic depressed mailbox, I had one. If I wanted to look into a parrots eyes to tell the time, well, you get the picture.

Now, I just sit in my drab apartment, stare at the blank walls, and contemplate. Who am I? You know, as crazy as fantasy can get, I find reality to be far more sinister. At least in the fantasy world, things, though random and sometimes dangerous, kept me moving and experiencing life. Here, in reality, nothing moves unless you push it. Nothing new ever happens without a catalyst. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That sometimes really sucks.

Why can't it be, for every action there is another somewhat unexpected and exciting reaction? Yes we may wind up with a lot of tragedy, but can it be more tragic than the stagnant, quiet disolving of my human soul? I think not.

But here I am. Me. At least I think so...